


The Avengers Order McDonald's

by fire_sprite



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bruce: Just Here For the Ride, Crack, Loki: Doesn't Want to Admit He's Worked at McDonald's, McDonald's, Natasha: Just Wants Fries, Peter: Isn't the Baby, Steve: Trying to Make Healthy Choices, Thor: Thinks He Knows What A McFlurry is, Tony: Just Trying to Order Quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 11:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fire_sprite/pseuds/fire_sprite
Summary: No plot, just McDonald's.Inspired by art done by @rhymewithrachel on Tumblr.





	The Avengers Order McDonald's

The fighting group of Avengers pulled up to the speaker in a Stark car.

“Hi, welcome to McDonald’s, how can I help you?” a defeated voice crackled.

“Uh, what do you want, guys?” Tony glanced back at the people arguing in the back. He leaned towards the intercom. “Just a cheeseburger for me, thanks.”

“What’s the healthiest thing on the menu?” Steve asked, looking at Peter. There was a sigh.

“It’s… it’s  _ McDonald’s, _ man. I don’t know. We have salad?”

“Yes, one, uh, Southwest Salad, too,” Steve said, craning his neck to read the menu.

“Guys, have you decided yet?” Tony leaned back to check on the rest of the group. Natasha was stuck in between an arguing Bruce and Thor about the meaning of a McFlurry, and Loki looked uncharacteristically embarrassed.

“Yes, I have a question, McDonald?” Thor called to the intercom. “What is a McFlurry? A snowstorm?” Thor’s face lit up. “Loki, you would love that! One McFlurry, please,” he beamed at his brother.

“It’s  _ not _ a snowstorm, it’s ice cream, and it’s $2.39,” Loki snapped.

Tony blinked. “How the hell did you know that?”

“Mr. Loki, did you  _ work _ at McDonald’s?” Peter peered at him through his mask, the eyes adjusting rapidly.

“Wh—I—how  _ dare _ —I didn’t—”

“It’s okay! I worked at McDonald’s for my summer job,” Peter reassured him. Loki didn’t look comforted, and turned towards the side of the car.

Natasha broke the silence. “Small fries for me.”

“Bruce, want anything?” Tony glanced back.

“No, I think I’m fine.”

“Bruce can share my Quartered Pounder,” Thor waved that off.

“Okay,” Tony tried to remember everyone’s order, “so we have a cheeseburger, a small fries, a McFlurry, a Southwest Salad, a Quarter Pounder, and, uhh, one six McNugget meal for the baby.”

“I’m not the baby!” Peter protested, folding his arms in a perfect mimic of Loki.

“What side?”

“What  _ side? _ ”

“Side, like, do you want apple slices, extra fries, or Go-Gurt with that?”

“What the  _ hell  _ is a Go-Gurt?”

“I can just have extra fries, Mr. Stark,” Peter volunteered.

“No,” Steve said firmly. “You’re having apple slices.”

“But Mr. Rogers! Can I at least have chocolate milk?”

Steve sighed, knowing there was no way he was going to win that one. “Fine.”

“Yes!” Peter pumped his arm in the air.

“Any sauce on those nuggets?”

“These things come with  _ sauce? _ Wait, can you read out the options?”

They heard a sigh. “Yeah, uh, barbeque, sweet-and-sour, ranch, honey, honey mustard, buffalo—”

“Sweet-and-Sour is the best,” Loki advised, momentarily forgetting the silent treatment.

“Sweet-and-Sour, yeah, that’s fine,” Tony repeated.

“Will that be all?”

“Yes,” Tony said, before any of the others could try and order anything else.

“That’ll be $21.39 at the first window.”

 

When they pulled up, the cashier fumbled with the window for several moments before finally pushing it open and stammering, “y-you’re the Avengers!”

“We’re also hungry,” Tony handed them a fifty dollar bill. “Keep the change, won’t you?”

“M-Mr. Stark, I don’t think I can—”

“It’ll be fine, thanks so much, bye,” Tony said, zooming into the next window.

“Don’t you want your receipt...?” the cashier’s voice trailed off.

 

The old man at the second window was less excited.

“What, you think I’m going to be impressed at your fancy costumes?” The man leaned forward, his name tag, reading STAN, glinting. “I’ll tell you what, the whole bunch of you are trouble. Just a few minutes ago this purple guy came through! What the world is coming to…” he muttered, handing them their bags.

“Where’s the McFlurry?” Loki rummaged through the paper bags and came up with nothing.

“Sorry. Machine’s broken.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not saying thanos is the asshole that feels the need to preface every order with "this has to be FRESH" but thanos is the asshole that feels the need to preface every order with "this has to be FRESH"
> 
> also this was pretty much just a warmup bc i haven't written in a while so take that as you will


End file.
